Pride and Prejudice 184-278

The Proposal: 

"She was at first sorry for the pain he was about to receive; till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger...He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, IN SPITE OF ALL HIS ENDEAVORS, he had found impossible to conquer... He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security" (185)

• This whole passage made me really angry. He was expecting her to marry him because even though he tried not to like her but it happened?! In what universe would that ever work on anyone? Why did he think that would be endearing to her? 
• I also hate how she could sense his confidence. It would make me feel degraded, as if he was like look you're below me so no matter what I say right now you're going to accept my hand. It would make me really angry/probably explode too. 
• "I might wish to be informed why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance" (186)
• umm... WHY DOESN'T IT MATTER WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU?! If I were Darcy would need to know exactly why Lizzie didn't love me so I could fix it if I really wanted to marry her. I don't understand why it doesn't matter to him. Maybe he's trying to act tough in the face of rejection... 

The Letter:

I can't decide if I approve of Darcy's actions to break up Bingley and Jane. I feel like it wasn't in his place to decide that for them, and the section in the letter justifying himself didn't do it for me. I was still disappointed that he took it on himself to split them up. Later Lizzie agrees with him when she's falling more in love with him (if she weren't she just would have been TOTALLY pissed but since she likes him now it softens the blow...), but I still feel like it was mean and unnecessary of Darcy to do that.

• Was Darcy's intervention in Bingley's and Jane's relationship justified?
• the letter opens Lizzie's eyes to her pride/prejudice - I think it's a turning point in her character
• prejudice against Darcy and Wickham
• She realizes that "One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it" (217) - She was basing her opinions of them and making judgments on what she had heard about them, or by her first impressions
• from here she sees that Miss Darcy isn't disagreeable, she takes the time to really see that she's just shy. 
• At the beginning I feel like Lizzie would have just judged her as nasty as her brother and would have hated her but now that she knows she isn't a good judge of character she looks deeper; "She had heard that Miss Darcy was exceedingly proud; but the observatoin of a very few minutes convinced her, that she was only exceedingly proud" (249)
• Pride: "How despicably I have acted... I, who have prided myself on my discernment...who have valued myself on my abilities...Vanity, not love, has been my folly" (201-2)
• I was glad this letter opened her eyes to Darcy's true character and her pride/prejudice because her attitude was starting to get on my nerves. She was starting to seem supercilious a little bit, looking down on people who thought they were better because she thought she was better than them.
• I found out that critics say the letter is uncharacteristic of Darcy and Austen only wrote it to free Darcy... Is that true?
• I think he could have written it - he likes books and is a bit shy so I feel like writing things down is easier for him than saying them out loud, as illustrated by his really long letters to his sister. If he had just blurted them out to her it would have been weird...

Also things about women and norms of the time that shocked me/irked me...

• "Daughters are never of so much consequence to a father" (205)
• "You will have only been here six weeks. I expected you to stay two months" (205)
• I think it's so weird to think that a visit then was literally two months long. Now we live longer and we have so much more to do that we only visit people for like an hour, but it's so weird to think about how much things have changed in terms of face-to-face relationships
• "Look here, I have bought this bonnet. I do not think it is very pretty; but I thought I might as well buy it as not"
• I just thought this was goofy
• "Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost three and twenty! Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before three and twenty" (213)
• some things: I would never say that out loud. Ever.
• 23?! When people see 23 year-olds getting married they say 'Man, they're practically still teenagers' or something. The fact that she's an old maid is kind of sad... It shows the pressures of that time on women
• Austen is making fun of the idea that unmarried girls were an embarassment
• "draw from it this useful lesson: that loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable-that one false step involves her in endless ruin-that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful,-and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behavior to the undeserving of the other sex" (275).
• I feel like women had to meet so many expectations then. They were expected to be quiet and reserved and not speak out like Lizzie and Lydia do, but every time they spoke they had to wow the crowd. 
• Also, what the heck Mary. She sucks.

Lydia:

• is stupid. 
• at least this whole thing creates a connection between Elizabeth and Darcy because they both feel guilty
• this whole thing moved the plot along. It took me a really long time to read the beginning but those last twenty pages went by really quickly because things started happening
• Austen doesn't mess with the social norm that living with a guy when you're not married is really bad, I noticed. Everyone is taking this really seriously
• I thought it was weird that Jane was depending on the Gardiners coming to help find Lydia... maybe she sees how useless her own parents are at everything.  What is the general consensus about the Bennettses parenting style?

Katie Scharf